"At first I was angry and felt it was disrespectful of his dead wife.Then I thought about it and realized that the last three years of his life must have been a horror and of course he was looking for the comfort of a new relationship".While this is probably true it can be difficult to hear. "I know she was a terrific woman and I'm sure I would have liked her." Then change the subject!Don't let friends' comments make you feel like a second class citizen.He’s probably worried that they’ll think he’s moving on too fast or, perhaps, won’t be open to the idea of seeing him with someone else.
Their mother dropped over dead, unexpectantly, in her early 50's. I just feel like an outsider that will never be let in.When we wrote our book, "Love for Grown-ups," we interviewed dozens of women who found that the adjustments that women who married widowers must make are very different from the issues facing women who married divorced men.Surprisingly, we found that, in many cases instead of friends being pleased that the widower had found someone to love and share his life, they in fact resented the new relationship.As though marrying again somehow blotted out the dead wife.One of our brides told us that when her best friend died of cancer at a young age, she was surprised at how soon her friend's husband had gotten seriously involved with another woman.